Ever since I was little, I remember being haunted by barking spiders. It was the one thing I just couldn't figure out. For a while, I wanted to be an Arachnologist (that's a real title, just FYI). I would ask everyone. I would stay up late. I would follow my Nanna around the kitchen for hours. I quickly learned that she was the key. They always seemed to come around when I was with her.
My Nanna was always one of my favorite people and still is to this day. However, she became almost a mystical being when it came to her ability to find these things.
I learned quickly that their breath was not for the weak. Nanna told me the stories of how when Barkin Spiders came along that Little Miss Muffet didn't stand a chance. It was a horrible death that no one should experience.
I tried to do my science fair project on my hypothesis that "If Nanna goes to sleep, will the Barking Spiders still come out". Needless to say, the project ended very quickly when I thought my Nanna was being attacked by spiders in her sleep and ran into her bed room swinging a tennis racket. My Papa almost had a heart attack and it was a long time before I was allowed to have another sleep over at Nanna and Pappa's house.
Long enough that by the time the next one came around, I had been informed the truth behind "Spider-gate" and thought it was the most hilarious thing on earth. (I am still laughing while typing this)
Funny thing was, I never knew how many other species of Barking Spiders were out there, until I got to college. See, I went to undergrad in North Carolina and graduate school in Alabama, and needless to say, the species not only originated in the south but has apparently taken over.
My fellow southerns shared stories of Spiders with high pitched barks, others were fast, some were loud enough to wake the sleeping and the worst were the silent but poisonous from Tuscaloosa. But no matter what the type, they each had a Grannie, Nanna, Grangran, Mimi, Gigi, or Memaw, that was wise beyond any other on the species.
Pretty sure this is a Nanna conspiracy theory that has lasted longer than time itself.
C & G